Self Confidence is Overrated
We live in a culture that reveres self confidence and self esteem, but as it turns out, there may be a better approach to success and personal development: self compassion and self care. While self confidence makes you feel better about your abilities, it can also lead you to vastly overestimate those abilities.
Why Self Compassion Beats Self Confidence
Self compassion, on the other hand, encourages you to acknowledge your flaws and limitations, allowing you to look at yourself from a more objective and realistic point of view. Both have merits, but many experts believe that self compassion includes the advantages of self confidence without the drawbacks.
Self compassion is treating yourself with the same kindness, care and concern you show a loved one. That’s what makes it so different from self confidence. Whereas confidence is aimed at feeling adequate and powerful despite how adequate and powerful you actually are, self-compassion encourages you to accept a more objective reality.
Developing Self Compassion
One way to remind yourself that you are worthy, even when you’re not performing well, is to put a sticky note near your desk or in your wallet with a message reminding you to be gentle and kind with yourself.
"There is no sense in punishing your future for the mistakes of your past. Forgive yourself, grow from it, and then let it go." - Melanie Koulouris
Practising mindfulness has a positive impact on self-compassion. Allow what you think or feel to have its moment; don’t give it the microphone or hide it in the corner. Allow it to come, and then, without attachment, let it go.
Feeling gratitude is very powerful. Rather than wishing for what we do not have, there is strength in appreciating what we do have, right now. By concentrating on our blessings, being contented and moving the focus away from our shortcomings and outward to the world, with all its beauty, we can develop self-care.
So, next time you do not meet the expectations you have for yourself, take some time out to pause, reflect measure, monitor and adjust.
Forgive yourself and recognize that you are only human. Be mindful of the difficult emotions that arise. Be grateful for the opportunity you had in the first place and for your persistence to try again.
Please share how you are bringing more self-compassion into your life. Take a moment to share your story in the comment section below. Maybe it will inspire others to start their journey of self-love and satisfaction.